eiennihen

10:26 am: A-Kon Pics
So I went to A-Kon last weekend. Dan and I stayed at this great Super 8 Motel by DFW. I thought it would be really shitty because it was less than $60/night and it's a Super 8, but it was really great. The room even had a mini fridge. We went to Traders' Village (bigass fleamarket in Grand Prarie) on Saturday and then to the con on Sunday. I like going on Sunday because it's cheaper, less crowded, and the dealers always have markdowns. It was nice not having to worry about money or work for a whole 48 hours; I think I really needed a vacation. Here's some pics I took:



And here's yours truly (right) and Dan (left):



In other news, I'm working on Romancing Saga 2 right now and have yet to be hit by a bus. It's actually a fun game and the script is fairly easy, despite the pages of control code garbage in it. The game uses control codes in much the same way Ancient Magic does: to determine how your main character speaks based on what type of person you've chosen. I'd like to be able to include this in the English version, but I don't know if it's possible yet. I've also been trying to finish up Nadia: Secret of Blue Water for the Genesis. I originally told KingMike it would only take me a few weeks, and I've ended up working on it for several months. My only excuse is that it's an RPG written entirely in kana, and it's one wordy motherfucker.

I worked on another project for him recently, an action game called Dragon Scroll. The whole script was in hiragana, and the game itself was a piece of crap. Usually I play through each game I translate, but this one was so difficult, boring, and downright fugly graphics-wise that I stopped 5 minutes into it and just did a blind translation. I'm glad other people liked it (KingMike even bought the cartridge w/ instruction manual), but to me it played like Rygar's retarded cousin. To each his own, I guess.

08:50 pm: Back from the grave!
( You are about to view content that may not be appropriate for minors. )

01:32 am: Well, it's been, uh, 6 months since my last post. I'm still at my phone monkey job, although I'm now in a better department and applying for a supervisory position. Still hammering away at Black Lagoon (we're up to Chapter 11!) and about halfway finished with Ancient Magic. I also participated in Al|together 2006 (see previous post), translated a sweet horror game and had a damn good time. In other translator-y news, I'm on the verge of starting my own small manga group, with everything lovingly translated and edited by yours truly. More on that later.

And I'm no longer in Austin proper. About a week ago I moved to Round Rock, which is just north of Austin, to be closer to work. Since then I've been hemorraging money for movers, electric and water deposits, new furnishings, and a two-night hotel stay because we got our power turned on two days late. I feel like I'm literally oozing money, leaving behind a little trail of dollar bills wherever I go. :/

Seeing as how everyone loves customer horror stories, I thought I'd share a few. I work in the repair department, so about 95% of our calls are customers calling about service. Some of the gems I've gotten:

( Customers Gone Wild )

05:26 pm: I haven't written any new stories, but work is going pretty well. I'm participating in Al|together 2006 this year, and I'm really enjoying it so far. Visual novels are so different from anything else I've ever translated. Eventually I'd like to read/translate novels, so it's good practice.

I'm also going to sign up for the Japanese Language Proficiency Test this year. If I have funds, I'll be flying to New York to take it the first weekend of December. I am kind of nervous, though, because I'll probably be taking the Level 2, and I feel like no matter how much I beef up my Japanese skills, it won't be enough!

Lots of exciting things at work. Our department is doing the manager shuffle, so I'm currently on my 3rd manager. We're also getting some visually impaired (read: blind) sales associates, and a few people are up in arms about the guide dogs the new associates use. One of my coworkers spent 30 minutes in a meeting bitching about how the guide dogs are allowed in the cafeteria. Talk about sensitivity, eh? :P Some of my coworkers are pretty damn weird, frankly, but I do enjoy my little phone monkey job. Hopefully I'll land a sweet job in mechanical parts in a few months so I'll only have to deal with dumbass techs instead of dumbass customers.

05:02 pm: monogatari
Sorry, this story's out for submission to an actual publication, so I've had to take it down. So much for sharing my "literary gift" with the world, eh? ;)

10:43 pm: What's next, "Badger Badger Badger Badger Badger Mushroom Mushroom: The Book"?
Maddox didn't spend years trying to shop his book to a publisher, a publisher approached him based on the popularity of his Web site. It's a model that's seen in several books this year, such as "Real Ultimate Power: The Official Ninja Book," by Robert Hamburger (pseudonym). From the CNN.com article

This single statement makes me want to never ever become a published writer. Plz die. Kthnx.

Also, I got a job.

01:20 am: Take This Job and Shove It - Public Version
It's official. The head of my law firm is the Biggest Douche in the Universe. I don't refer to him as my boss because I'd like to think that my boss was the professional, highly experienced paralegal I worked under that the head of the firm drove away with his insane, douche-like behavior. I will henceforth call the head of the firm David, because he is a wealthier, fatter, more popular version of David Brent from the British version of "The Office". Today, the other secretary, my boss, and I staged a revolution of sorts. We all turned in our two week notices this morning, leaving David scampering to find a new staff. At 6:30pm tonight David called the other secretary and I to tell us we were "no longer needed" (read: fired). This is not a problem: my boss already has a new job lined up, I've got an interview at a headhunting agency next week, and the other secretary (a full-time student) is off to London for spring break. This leaves David without any staff whatsoever. What's all the sweeter is that he may get disbarred soon because of his own incompetence, despite trying to force the adverse party, the client, my boss, and even yours truly to take the blame for him. However, this is but the tip of the iceberg.( Read below as I describe just what qualifies this guy for the title of 'Biggest Douche in the Universe' )

I took the liberty of covering my own ass before I left. I was in charge of ordering all office supplies, so I made personal copies of all the office supply invoices just in case he later claims that I tried to steal money from him. I don't think he'll do it, but I trust the fat fuck about as far as I can throw him. (Part of me is actually worried that he'll see this post and try to sue for slander or something, even though I didn't use his real name in the public version; he's just that vindictive.) And the motherfucker's going to be hiring some poor unsuspecting college student who's just looking for a decent job. Hopefully he/she will come away with the same lesson I have: if your boss is an arrogant, incompetent cunt who lies constantly, it's time to find another job.

10:41 am: Most Loaded Article EVER
shihtzu linked to a website called Concerned Women for America. Being an ardent lover of Crazy Christian Bullshit, I just had to check it out. This was my favorite article by far:( Text behind cut )

What's bullshit about this? To start with, the use of the phrase "Culture War" is a big fucking red flag. Second, the flagrant use of quotes by Sartre and Crowley (whom the author incorrectly calls a Satanist) show her blatant distain for the "secular" worldview. So according to the author, there is a Christian worldview and a secular one. That's it. No other religions, no philosophy, just Christian and secular. The irony of this is that Naria is a children's fantasy novel and Brokeback Mountain deals with the adult world in all its joy and sorrow. So according to the author, you can either live in the real world, where mankind is left to figure out things for itself, or a Christian fantasy world of Good and Evil, where the consequences of every action are so obvious that you really have no free will. Seriously, which one of these sounds more realistic? When it comes down to it, I'd rather be a gay cowboy than follow a Goddamn CG lion, thank you very much.

I think this article also explains my contempt for C.S. Lewis. Tolkien (who I don't care for either), at least had characters who were capable of both good and evil, Gollum being the most obvious. Lewis abandons that for a childish, simplistic fantasy where morality itself is never brought into question and other ways of looking at the world are non-existant. I say that if you want a real Christian writer, go read some Graham Greene.

I will leave you with one of my favorite Bill Hicks quotes on the subject of Christianity, "The whole image is that eternal suffering awaits anyone who questions God's infinite love. That's the message we're brought up with, isn't it? Believe or die! 'Thank you, forgiving Lord, for all those options.'"

09:16 pm: Gingerbread house!
I finally made my gingerbread house today. I bought one of those kits from the grocery store, so all I had to do was prepare the icing, put the house together, and decorate it. The worst part was that the icing flew everywhere when I was mixing it, so there were thick white ribbons of icing all over my kitchen counter. Ain't that a nice visual? At least I didn't get any in my hair. :P

Here's a picture of the house in all its, uh, glory:

Oh, and this is the source image for my new icon. It's Dr. Nusakan, the Mystic doctor from SaGa Frontier who runs a clinic for the undead. He's a hidden character who will only join your party on two quests. And he's totally hot. Rowr! The doctor is in!

Ah, I can't believe I have to go into work tomorrow. I want to stay home and play video games. Oh well, my last paycheck was freaking huge, so at least I have something to look foward to. And I got some great stuff for Christmas, like the money for a digital camera and a new set of dishes from my in-laws. That's good, too.

06:28 pm: I think my pen name should be Richard Upton Pickman...
In the spirit of NaNoWriMo, I revised a story that I wrote a couple months ago. And, in the spirit of having my work mocked by complete strangers, I've decided to post it here in all its glory. :P That reminds me, it might not be such a bad idea to disable anonymous posting.

I'd really like some honest, constructive feedback on this story, as it is the first full, polished short story I've ever written. That being said, I'm not gonna bullshit around. This is a really, really dirty story, and not one of those fluffy happy romance stories. I think I mentioned in one of my early posts that I like to write about sex, and well, here's some damn good proof of that. The gist is that if you're prudish or easily offended, do not read this story. Also, this story is fucking long. It's around 4,300 words, or 6 pages in MS Word, so you might want to take a piss and get a snack before you sit down to read it.

"Cold Day in Spring"

That face--he often saw her face in his dreams. She walked right past him like a specter in her heavy grey winter coat and thick spectacles. He turned and grabbed her arm quickly, dragging her into an alley and throwing her against a wall. No one noticed; it was as if they stood alone, locked in a timeless void. She smelled like musty books and incense, an odd scent, but a pleasant one none the less. Her eyes were so deep and innocent, filled with the striking purity of youth; he knew she was terrified. Her dark grey hair was bound in a tight braid, giving her a rather childish quality. Everyone had grey hair in Criptia; young, old, it made no difference. Her braid looked especially beautiful to him, and in fact, he prized this special kind of beauty in his prey. She opened her mouth to scream, and Leddos instinctively covered her delicate pink lips with his gloved hand. "Quiet. You're coming with me, girl." He growled in his distinctively odd, high-pitched voice. One accidental glimpse of the book in the backpack at her feet made him pause for a moment. It was "Cold Day in Spring," a favorite novel of his. It was South Criptian in origin, and therefore nearly impossible to obtain in North Criptia, which had more or less culturally walled itself off from the rest of the continent. Leddos himself had managed to get ahold of a translated copy via his father, who could get him anything his heart desired. How this lower class girl managed to obtain a copy was beyond him. ( Read the rest )

01:32 pm: Work
Americans like to rip people off

God, that's so depressing. The treatment of workers in this country (illegal or otherwise) has pissed me off for a long time. Some of the things that companies do to avoid paying workers are absolutely criminal, yet such practices are intrinsic to capitalism. What's more, both big and small companies get away with this shit all the time. When it comes to workers' rights, I tend to lean more toward socialism as opposed to Laissez-Faire Capitalism. Also, this is a good example of why immigrating illegally is not such a good idea. You have no rights and no job security of any kind. Granted, legal citizens can have the same problems, but as an illegal immigrant you're much, much more likely to get screwed over. Still, if someone wants to live in this country badly enough, I say go for it. America may be the land of opportunity, but if you're not careful, you may just get more than you bargained for.

Speaking of opportunities, I finally got a job! Starting Monday I'll be working at a small law firm downtown as a part-time office assistant. I went in for the interview on Friday and the lady just gave me the job without even looking at my resume. I make $8/hour and I don't have to wear freaking pantyhose and a dress every day. Whoo-hoo! I'm celebrating by going over to Whole Foods to pick up some Italian Soda and Soy Milk, then going to see "Capote" tomorrow. :)

11:25 am: Random update
It's my birthday today! I'm 23! I can (still) buy porn and alcohol! Yay!

Man, so much stuff has happened over the last few days. Where should I start? First of all, Dan's dad had a quintuple bypass (ie: massive heart surgery) last Wednesday. He's doing fine; Dan's going to visit him this weekend. It's really scary because it makes me think of getting older and having a myriad of health problems. That, and I had to stay in a hospital for a few hours. I hate hospitals. They're full of sick people and sinister-looking medical equipment. At least the food at the cafeteria was decent, I guess.

On Friday morning, I was awoken at 7:30am by a loud "COCK-A-DOODLE-DOO!!!" At first I thought I was dreaming (or just batshit insane), but I kept hearing it. I went out outside, and what did I see on my neighbor's porch? A fucking rooster! A big fat rooster with white feathers! Squawking and wobbling around eating seed. Needless to say, I called the office right away. I haven't heard or seen the rooster again, so I can only assume that the neighbors have killed and eaten it. So much for keeping farm animals in an apartment.

My fiance and I celebrated my birthday last Saturday. We went to see "A History of Violence," which was incredibly good. I won't spoil it, but the ending is very anti-climactic and sad. I think the director demands a lot from his audience, though: namely a conscious effort to look beyond the shocking brutality of violence and instead question its nature. I also rented "North by Northwest," which was also excellent. I haven't seen too many of Hitchcock's films, except for "Psycho" and part of "The Birds," but I admire his ability to create a believable spy movie.

One of my pet rats, Pimiko, is constipated. Her abdomen is a little swollen, and she just isn't pooping. I was really worried at first because I thought it might be the dreaded Megacolon (or Megaweapon, as I kept accidentally calling it). After some research, though, I found out that Megacolon only hits very young rats; older rats usually get a little constipated if you're feeding them a harsh diet. Of course, now I feel bad for feeding her some of my Gazpacho soup. :( There is a solution, however. I just have to regularly feed her fruit that contains a lot of water. So now she's on a diet of lab blocks, oatmeal, and canned fruit. Poor elderly rattie.

I'm so happy summer's almost over. It's getting cooler here in Texas (mid 80s during the day). This means no more $90 electricity bills. I can actually leave the window open during the day without the apartment heating up like a pressure cooker. :)

06:38 pm: Sex-type thing / Fun Bill Hicks quotes
So a few days ago, ( Cut for massive TMI )

Well, I don't have anything interesting to say at the moment, so here's a bunch of fun Bill Hicks quotes. I wish I could've seen him live before he died. :( May he rest in peace.

See, I think drugs have done some good things for us. I really do. And If you don't believe drugs have done good things for us, do me a favor. Go home tonight and take all your albums, all your tapes and all your CDs and burn them. 'Cause you know all those musicians who made all that great music that's enhanced your lives throughout the years? RRRRRRRRRRRREAL fucking high on drugs... The Beatles were so fucking high they let Ringo sing a few songs.

And remember, it's not a war on drugs, it's a war on personal freedom.

Childbirth is no more a miracle then eating food and a turd coming out of your ass.

( Read more... )

One of my big fears in life is that I'm gonna die and my parents are going to come to clean out my apartment and find that porno wing I've been adding on to for years.

The Supreme Court says pornography is anything without artistic merit that causes sexual thoughts, that's their definition, essentially. No artistic merit, causes sexual thoughts. Hmm... Sounds like...every commercial on television, doesn't it? You know, when I see those two twins on that Doublemint commercial? I'm not thinking of gum.

03:34 am: Long-ass survey
This freaking long survey shamelessly ganked from yoshie66. Enjoy.

[ .01. ] First name: Amanda
[ .02. ] Middle name: --
[ .03. ] Last name: --
[ .04. ] Nicknames: Eien Ni Hen, Janis Akuma, A-chan
[ .05. ] Gender: Female
[ .06. ] Birthday: 10/19/82
[ .07. ] Height: 4'11
[ .08. ] Hair colour: Dark brown
[ .09. ] Eye colour: Brown
[ .010. ] Do you wear glasses or contacts: Glasses (I can't see for shit)
[ .011. ] Do you have braces: Yup; all through Jr. High. I even had headgear, and now I have a permanent retainer (bottom) and a plastic retainer (top).

FREEDOM!
[ .012. ] Hair long or short: Long. Real long.
[ .013. ] Where were you born: Houston, Texas.
[ .014. ] Current location: Austin, Texas. (I haven't even left the state. -.-)
[ .015. ] Zodiac sign: Libra
[ .016. ] How many languages do you know: English, Japanese, "Conversational" French
[ .017. ] What language do you want to learn: Chinese, maybe Italian
[ .018. ] Bad habits: Not wearing a bra, being messy, avoiding doing dishes like the plague
[ .019. ] Piercing you have: Ears
[ .020. ] Piercing you want: None
[ .021. ] Tattoos you have: None
[ .021. ] Strangest thing you own: A portrait of Steve Perry as Robocop
[ .023. ] Today: Tuesday
[ .024. ] Today's date: September 20, 2005
[ .025. ] The time: 3:45 am
[ .026. ] Ready for a bunch more questions: Sure.
( Cut for long-assedness )

04:51 pm: Scam, scam, scam
I had my first scam interview yesterday. Apparently these are pretty common because my fiance attended one last year while he was looking for a job. The company I was asked to interview for was Global Solutions, but it turns out that the actual company is called Liquidity International, and Global Solutions is the name of their Austin office. ( Here's how it went: )

The good news was that I had enough common sense to get out of there, and I had a legitimate interview at 3pm that went very well. The thing that baffled me the most was that the company seemed to target college students. I found the job listing, which had no mention of seminars or even the company's products, on the UT job website. I suppose the company thinks that college students lack enough real-world experience to know a scam when they see it. They are wrong. Most of the people I knew in college had enough common sense to realize that peddling bogus health products may not help you score that much-coveted extra cash. Despite this, lots of people are drawn into scams because they lack common sense, or because they are simply desperate for a decent job. You'd be amazed what people will make themselves believe if you flash enough dollar signs in front of them. Based on my experience and my fiance's, I've come up with some telltale signs of the scam interview.
( The telltale scam )

05:17 pm: Super random update!
Ugh, I really should be updating my crappy Japanese journal, eiennihongo, but I've been so lazy lately. I need to keep up my Japanese skills, though. Chances are I'll be getting a job/internship in marketing or sales, so I need to go to extra lengths to avoid forgetting that thing I got my degree in. ;) I'm not too upset about not immediately landing a translating job; a bunch of them wanted additional stuff like QA or marketing experience. A few companies said I just need more practice, which is fine. Actually, I think translating Black Lagoon is really helping me work with more adult material and better understand nuances.

Also, I recently tried chocolate soy milk (or "soy juice," to quote Lewis Black). For something that didn't come out of a cow's udder, it's actually quite good, although a little chalky. Why did I try it? One word: cramps. I read somewhere that soy is supposed to help alleviate menstrual cramps, and amazingly, it worked like a charm. I only had to take one Aleve during my whole period. Hurray for tasty natural remedies. :)

Speaking of tasty, I've got another cheap recipe to share. This one is modified from the Betty Crocker cookbook (1983 ed). By the way, the older Betty Crocker cookbooks fucking rule. Mine has everything from Gazpacho to Sukiyaki. I highly recommend picking one of these up if you enjoy cooking and simple, thrifty recipes.

( Cheap recipe )

My fiance downloaded her book How to Talk to a Liberal (if You Must), possibly just to make his blood pressure soar to new heights, and I realized something about all these Goddamn mudslinging, talking-head pundits. I don't even think that they believe the crap that they're spewing out; they're just doing it for the cash and attention. Case in point: Ann Coulter gave a talk at UT last semester (sadly, I did not attend), and it was a Huge Fucking Deal. There were protesters, angry mobs, etc. Everyone was talking about her. And to think that the seminar I attended (the speaker was a very famous Japanese linguist) got no publicity. I think that punditry displays many of the characteristics of pro wrestling, the difference being that wrestlers will admit what they do is fake. Political pundits just want attention and money, and are not above name-calling and twisting facts to get it. I should also note that I have no love for Al Franken either; his books tend to be a little bit funnier, but are none the less sanctimonious bullshit. I just don't understand why these people get any attention. Is TV so lacking in pointless crap?

Ah yes, and my fiance was fine; after about 20 minutes he listened to some George Carlin and his blood pressure went back down to normal.

05:30 am: I have insomnia
So I decided to do something fun and post a random survey thing in my journal. Below is a list of IMDB's top 100 films. I actually ganked this from some random journal, but you can find it in its unmodified form at ObeyTheFist.com. Also, this is not the AFI, but the IMDB, so remember most popular doesn't always mean best. For instant, Toy Story 2 is at #96, and the three LOTR films ranked above Citizen Kane, Star Wars, and Schindler's List. I've put an lj-cut after the first 20 to avoid blowing up my f-list.

1 Godfather, The (1972) Never seen it
2 Shawshank Redemption, The (1994) Favorite
3 Godfather: Part II, The (1974) Never seen it
4 Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King, The (2003) Finished it
5 Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers, The (2002) Finished tt
6 Casablanca (1942) Never seen it
7 Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring, The (2001) Finished it
8 Schindler's List (1993) Favorite
9 Shichinin No Samurai [Seven Samurai] (1954) Started it
10 Star Wars (1977) Finished it
11 Citizen Kane (1941) Never seen it
12 One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest (1975) Finished it, Excellent
13 Dr. Strangelove (1964) Own it/favorite
14 Rear Window (1954) Never seen it
15 Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back (1980) Finished it
16 Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981) Finished it, used to own it
17 Memento (2000) Never seen it
18 Usual Suspects, The (1995) Never seen it
19 Pulp Fiction (1994) Own it
20 North by Northwest (1959) Never seen it
( Click here for more of this pointless list! )

Maybe I'll post this weekend when I have something interesting to say in non-list form.

03:11 pm: "Jesus loves you," supernatural bullshit, the Beach type of magic
To start with, an interesting flier appeared at my door a few weeks ago. It was for some local pizza place, but what really struck me was this:

Click on the image to see more of the ad.

"Jesus loves you"? WTF? Not only is it in a pizza ad, it's right in the middle of the address! My fiance and I both got a good laugh out of this wildly out-of-place religious sentiment.

Which reminds me, a post on childfree about the infamous Jack Chick tracts got me to thinking: the expression "God/Jesus's free gift of love/salvation" really bothers me. It's just creepy: it makes salvation sound like signing up with Columbia House. "Act now and receive the gift of God's love for just pennies a day! Operators are standing by!" But then again, I'm an asshole. I don't believe in angels, demons, or possession. (For the record, I also don't believe in goblins, vampires, and zombies.) These fantastical creatures make for great stories, but I really think they're just figments of the imagination. You know, when D&D players pretend to cast spells and fight the undead, people accuse them of not being able to separate fantasy from reality. These same people believe in demonic possession and freaking guardian angels. Pot, meet kettle.

On that tangent, I think people need fantasy, the unknown. Humanity has been obsessed with spirits and supernatural forces since its inception. Why should we stop now? It's fun to imagine having an all-knowing, unseen creator that watches over you and has all the answers. It's fun to dream about being abducted by aliens and telling everyone about your experience. It's fun to think you've seen a ghost, have a guardian angel, or even that you can do magic. It makes you feel special, and in the case of religion, it helps you cope with events you can't explain or control. I swear, I feel myself sliding closer and closer toward Atheism simply because I don't care a whole lot for supernatural bullshit.

( On the translating front )

03:07 am: A-Kon and foot pics, translation projects
First of all:

( Gross foot pictures! )

I just had to get that out of the way. The damage doesn't look too bad in the pictures, but you can see how swollen it was. It's much better now. (I can finally play DDR again!! I am SO hitting the arcade next week!) Also, here's me and my fiance at A-Kon 2005 (I'm Edward Elric again):

I want to go as a different character next year, but it's hard to find someone I can concievably cosplay. Edward is perfect (except for the hair) because he's short and his outfit is amazingly simple.

( Translating stuff - cut due to boringness) )

In other news, I think my scanner's fucked up. It's pretty damn old, but when I was scanning the pictures, there was some color distortion. I know scanners are cheap, but right now not free = too expensive. :P Tomorrow Dan's parents are taking us to Schlitterbahn (huge waterpark), so that'll be fun. I've also got to finish my Namco translator test by Monday. Man, I want that job so bad I can taste it. I'm also going to do a translator test for a yaoi manga company in Houston. It's right up my alley: translating porn and getting paid for it. That's pretty much the same thing I do at Akatsuki, except it's less like porn, more like ecchi. ^^

02:30 am: McNews
I don't even really watch TV anymore. In fact, our TV only gets three channels: FOX, PBS, and some crappy religious channel. Oh, and we get another channel. I think it's NBC or maybe CBS, but I never watch it because there's nothing good on. I watch FOX for Seinfeld, the Simpsons, and such; PBS for their wonderful but narrow selection of Britcoms; and the crazy religious channel to get a good laugh. But I almost never watch the local news. I find it patronizing and boring, a real waste of time. But recently I happened to see a story about how the people of Hawaii were adopting their own version of the Japanese Obon festival. The piece lasted, oh, about 30 seconds, and didn't tell anything about the festival except to hint that it was quaint and adorable. My problem with this is that if you're going to spend less than a minute on a story and not tell anything interesting about it at all, then why bother even reporting on it? Come on, I'm sure there are lots of homicides and car crashes (complete with gory footage) that would be better for ratings. Or you could just have an extra 30 seconds for sports. No harm done there. :P

Call me a snob if you want, but I'd much rather watch that thing on PBS with Jim Lehrer. I watched the one where he had Henry Kissinger on and they talked about foreign policy; it was interesting. I mean, there weren't any pretty graphics of smiling suns ("Why would a dying star be smiling?!") or people getting gunned down halfway across the world, so I had a hard time paying attention, but I actually got something out of it. My halfway point is the Daily Show; it's snappy, sarcastic, crude humor combined with funny graphics and goofy human interest stories. It's a stylish, biting mockery of the six o'clock McNews. My two personal favorite segments are "Produce Pete" and "This Week in God," although "International Pamphlet" is funny, too. I'll take it over McNews any day.

BTW, a cookie for anyone who can tell me where the "dying star" quote is from (except my fiance, because he watched it with me).